KRAKHOUSE – PART III: CREAMY/CLUMPY CLOWN CATCHER

Style: Experimental Rock, Avant-Garde Rock, Art Rock, Comedy (clean vocals)
Recommended for fans of: Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart, The Shaggs, Kurt Cobain’s “Beans”
Country: United States
Release date: 21 July 2026
I don’t know if you’ve been on the Internet in the past month or two, but if you have, chances are you’ve heard of a Quebecois band called Angine de Poitrine. In her review of Vol. II, Claire covered AdP‘s brand of microtonal math rock, highlighting its mind-numbing stylistic monotony. Other critics have hailed the band’s weirdness as “undeniably human”,1 taking a stand against the sterility of AI-generated music.2 AdP were welcomed as a breath of fresh air, doing something that no AI can do: have an original idea. But microtones and loop pedals and odd time signatures have all been done before. If you want something weirder than AdP, you have to look somewhere weirder than Saguenay, Quebec. You have to look to West Orange, New Jersey, and to Jesse Krakow of KRAKHOUSE.
If you believe the information available on Bandcamp, Krakow has been releasing music since 1977, apparently the year that he was born. Some of his material seems sincere, like in the liner notes of IT’S ONLY LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME, where he reveals that much of that work was recorded while his wife was on maternity leave with their son.3 Other releases feature artwork which is of (or apparently made by) his children. Some recordings feature guest musicians who are properly credited, playing decent approximations of actual songs. Others have credits like “Your Grandma’s Friend Jenny’s Kids – a single tambourine”. Blurring the lines between sincerity and sarcasm, professionalism and amateurism, Krakow churns out a lot of music. But is any of it good? Is it meant to be? Maybe his latest full-length work, PART III: CREAMY/CLUMPY CLOWN CATCHER, can shed some light.

The first question you may ask is “where are parts I and II”? They don’t exist, as far as this author can tell.4 The title makes this album a literal non-sequitur that, even before listening, draws to mind the “xD I’m so random” “*holds up spork*” culture of the early 2000s. Much of CREAMY leans heavily into that ethos, intentionally or otherwise. The opening track “So Many Donkeys, I Must Clap” features lyrics like “I think they could be horses / But they’re not / They’re donkeys of courses”. This minimal mangling of the English language is found elsewhere on CREAMY, notably in “That Really Smells Horribles” and the title track, which proudly proclaims “In America / We like it clumpy and clown”. What does “we like it clown” mean? Does it mean anything at all? Or is it just a “lolz so random” bag of words? The latter, probably.
Hidden in the Pollockian splatter of nonsense, a blob of sound occasionally insists upon itself as something worth interpreting favourably.5 Near the end of “Girlfriend Made of Play-Doh featuring The Courtship, The Journey & The Talk Show Reunion”, there is a quite enjoyable piano melody, but it’s hidden underneath what sounds like either an otomatone or a talkbox making seemingly random noises atop it, preceded by overlapping voices wailing “Playyyy-Dohhhhh”, and followed by a track called “U Must Fart”, where Krakow implores the listener to “Relax your butthole, open your heart”. The final track, “Climb Every Ocean”,6 is about as close as this album gets to taking itself seriously. The last twenty seconds or so of that song are almost beautiful, with stabby jazzy guitar chords dancing over a solid rhythm section and some inoffensive synths. If the lyrics weren’t “climb every ocean, swim every mountain, piss in the sea”, you might be able to convince yourself that this was meant to be an enjoyable listen. Krakow shows on this album and others that – when he wants to – he can and does write orthodox pop rock music. But he often doesn’t want to.
CREAMY makes so many unpredictable artistic choices that it’s hard to tell which – if any – are intentional. Partway through “Creamy Clown”, after the bridge and the third verse, there’s a sudden stop at what seems like the end of the song. But after twenty-five seconds of total silence, the song continues with an abrupt change of style: outro-ing with surf rock guitar and harmonized vocals in a “big chord” conclusion. On “We Like Your Onions”, the dad-bar-band / amateur swamp-rock style verses are interrupted by Krakow doing faux-German-accented spoken word sections for apparently random intervals. At one point in “That Really Smells Horribles”, Krakow ends a verse with “guitar!” and then there is absolutely no guitar. There’s a reason the album is tagged “comedy” on Bandcamp; it will give you more than a few chuckles. But whether those are because of the jokes landing or because you’re nervously laughing from second-hand embarrassment is a roll of the dice.
KRAKHOUSE‘s PART III: CREAMY/CLUMPY CLOWN CATCHER is not a “good” album in almost any sense. It does not exhibit impressive musicianship; it’s not well-produced; it doesn’t have predictable song structures. The vocal performances are difficult to listen to, wholly and objectively amateurish. The drums are uninspiring and are often mixed too far back. The lyrics are sophomoric at best, nonsensical at worst. But the unpredictability and uninterpretability of CREAMY is what makes it noteworthy. It has been a long while since an album this disorienting has been recorded, hearkening back to foundational works by artists like Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart, among others. Existing in an uncanny valley between amateurish incompetence and purposeful idiocy, CREAMY is a work of art that no AI could ever hope to produce. More than microtones and unusual time signatures played with loop pedals, CREAMY is a uniquely human work, bringing nauseating unpredictability and intentional ineptitude to the fore, blurring the line between art and garbage. It’s an enraging waste of half an hour that you’ll never forget.
Recommended tracks: Girlfriend Made of Play-Doh featuring The Courtship, The Journey & The Talk Show Reunion; So Many Donkeys, I Must Clap; Creamy Clown Catcher
You may also like: TULPA, Cardiacs, Clown Core, Angine de Poitrine
Final verdict: 7/10 or 2/10, take your pick
Related links: Bandcamp | Facebook | Instagram
Label: independent
KRAKHOUSE is:
– Jesse Krakow (everything)
- https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/how-a-masked-canadian-duo-became-the-viral-antiai-sensation-rocking-music/news-story/85096fa05a2f54748c6cb4ca54c8646b ↩︎
- https://ici.radio-canada.ca/nouvelle/2243678/angine-de-poitrine-2e-album-musique-microtonale-experts ↩︎
- Upon reflection, I think this is also a joke. ↩︎
- Ed. Note: since this review was drafted, PART II: BEEFY, BEARDED BOY was released. Go enjoy the bearded beefiness on Bandcamp. ↩︎
- Rorschach wept. ↩︎
- This track is either called “Climb Every Ocean” or “Climb Any Ocean”. Both names are given in two different places on the album’s Bandcamp page. ↩︎
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