Review: Toehider – XII in XII in MMXXIII – Part 1

Style: Prog Metal, Prog Rock, Experimental, Synthpop, Medievel, Etc.
Recommended for Fans of: Ayreon, Devin Townsend, Coheed and Cambria
Country: Australia
Release date: 2023 – 2024

Since their conception circa 2008, Australian prog outfit Toehider has had only two official band members: Mike Mills who plays every instrument, writes the lyrics, provides vocals, and records and mixes the music, and Andrew Saltmarsh who creates all of the visual artwork. In 2012 the pair pursued an unprecedented project: twelve EPs in as many months. The experiment proved a success, and now a decade later, they’re doing it again. Everything began in February over on the Toehider Patreon where they’ve been releasing one EP per month for a year and releasing them to the public on a six-month delay. I will be covering the EPs in batches of four as they are released publicly.

EP 1 – Quit Forever?

Style: Prog Metal
Release date: Patreon – February 23, 2023 | Public – August 4, 2023

The first EP Quit Forever? is basically a collection of Toehider-style Toehider songs. It serves as a perfect entry point to the twelve EPs by setting a baseline for what to expect moving forward: huge riffs, soaring vocals, genre shifts, attention to detail, and lyrics that range from goofy fables to more serious subject matter. All of these tenets are realized on tracks like “Uncle Aqua” and “Nobody Even Really Liked it in There But Me,” with the former being a fast-paced jaunty tune and the latter a slower but no less impactful track with a nice feathered orchestral cap atop its noggin. 

“Every Day I Wake Up In The Morning and I Fail! Fail! Fail!” calls back to “I Like It” from the album of the same name being an amalgam of Coheed and Cambria at their poppiest and unexpected Devin Townsend heaviness. With ’80s-infused synth sections and call-and-response vocal melodies followed by harsh vocal-led breakdowns, “EDIWUITMAIFFF” (what an acronym) is a jolly track with injections of self-doubt and mental darkness.

The title track “Quit Forever” is a piano and orchestral-driven ballad pulled from a strange sad musical seemingly musing on that old demon known as imposter syndrome. Any creator can likely identify with the feeling of not being good enough and the struggle in making art. Sometimes it does feel easier to simply “Quit Forever.”

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EP 2 – Snapshots from Beacontown Spring Dance 1985

Style: Prog Rock, Synthpop, 80’s
Recommended for Fans of: Tears for Fears, Voyager, Toto
Release date: Patreon – March 22, 2023 | Public – September 1, 2023

EP number two, Snapshots From Beacontown Spring Dance ‘85 takes place in the Teen Wolf universe from the perspective of multiple side characters. It’s a synth-laden romp that would not sound out of place in a particularly edgy John Hughes film. “Animal In Your Eyes” may be the runaway hit from this EP with huge ‘80s tone and riffage throughout with a prog sprinkle on top. This is also true for all four tracks on “Snapshots.” It reminds me of what Devin Townsend once said about his album Ki, and I’m paraphrasing, “Every time it wants to get heavy, it gets reigned back in.” Toehider gets proggy multiple times here, but quickly pulls it back to The Breakfast Club. It’s so well done, I’ve been able to secretly sneak a few tracks from this EP into the 80’s Sunday playlist at work and nobody has noticed. 

No 80s album would be complete without a ballad or two and that’s where “You’d Think That I’d Be Used To It By Now” comes in. It’s the part of the movie that features a montage of the main characters at their low point, but they’re back to prove to the world that they are the main character and deserve to be treated as such. Saxophone comes back from “Pack it Up” to add to the emotional weight.

Final track “Keep Going for Me” almost serves as the end credits. I can see the scrolling text with a small blooper window on the side.

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EP 3 – The Four Castles of Stelcoaryn

Style: Prog Rock, Acoustic, Medieval
Release date: Patreon – April 24, 2023 | Public – October 6, 2023

And now for something completely different. The third EP The Four Castles of Stelcoaryn is an acoustic medieval style album that would not sound out of place at a RenFaire. It’s a concept album about an ancient land called Stelcoaryn that has four identical castles within its lands. You may have already guessed that from the name, but what you couldn’t guess is what’s coming next. 

With acoustic guitar, flutes, and absurd lyrics Four Castles is like if Blind Guardian’s “The Bard’s Song” came out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The EP begins with “Filly Folly Castle” a bardic tune about choosing a king by the candidates flicking each other in the belly button. For some reason this duel also takes place in the kitchen. Meanwhile, stories are unfolding at the other castles that include a hero on a classic RPG-style quest and a man really misses a goat.

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EP 4 – Horse EP

Style: Prog Metal, Folk, Western, Sludge
Release date: Patreon – May 23, 2023 | Public – November 3, 2023

“Horse Song” picks up on a story thread that has been sewn through many previous Toehider songs following a character named Malcolm. The ethos began with “Malcolm, Dust ‘Em,” and continued through “What Kind of Creature Am I?,” “I’ve Been So Happy Living Down Here In the Water,” and “Concerning Lix & Fairs.” “Horse Song” is a classic Toehider prog fable containing a fantastic reprise from “What Kind of Creature Am I?” It’s a story-forward song with many progressive moments.

“How Do I Dial It Down?” uncharacteristically features a rare deep vocal performance and a darker lyrical subject matter from Mike Mills. Harkening back to “Quit Forever” this song explores the trappings of being in the public eye and measuring up to what people now expect based on your past offerings.

“Nobody Wants to Hear Another Song About Your Heart” is the internal dialogue of every artist. That gnawing feeling one gets when creating something: wondering if anyone else will enjoy the output. 

And then comes E-Snout (The Search For the Worst Toehider Song), which actually happens to be my wife’s favorite Toehider song, due to just how silly the whole thing turns out to be.

At the time of this writing, Toehider has already released the next four EPs over on their Patreon including EPs that encompass thrash metal, Saturday Morning Cartoons, a 70’s prog rock epic, and meditative spoken word synth. And there are still four more to come.

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Recommended Tracks: Everyday I Wake Up In The Morning And I Fail! Fail! Fail!, Animal In Your Eyes, Filly Folly Castle, Horse Song
You May Also Like: Major Parkinson, EcSovereign, Moron Police
Final Verdict: 9/10

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Related Links: Official Website | Bandcamp | Spotify | Patreon | Twitch | YouTube | Facebook

Label: Toehider

Toehider is:
Mike Mills: All Instruments, Vocals, Production
Andrew Saltmarsh – Art