Review: Simulacra – Volition

Style: Simulacra (vocals)
Recommended for fans of: an aural lobotomy
Review by: Zach
Country: Australia
Release date: 3 November, 2023

I am a shitty reviewer. Why, you may ask? This isn’t me saying “woe is me, why can’t I be more critical like Andy,” this is me outright stating a fact. I would rather present you all with an album that I thoroughly enjoyed or grab a mediocre one with a silver lining than outright tear something apart critically. As a musician, at the end of the day, I know how difficult it is to write an album,especially something at the caliber of progressive metal. We can’t all be Chucky Schulz (Death) or Mikey Fieldfield (Opeth), and that’s ok! Comparison is the theft of joy, President Teddy Roosevelt once said, so if you’re a musician, write what makes you happy and believe in your abilities.

However, what the people outside of this blog don’t know is that I’m protecting them. There is a far greater threat to the integrity of prog metal than Sleep Token, Aviations, the Infinite Cult of Zon, or your local djent band. Its name is Simulacra, and my life was much better when I didn’t know a thing about it. If you unhinged your jaw and pointed like the average Marvel fan when this review was posted, then you’re already too far gone and I can’t save you. However, if you have no clue who or what this is, I beg of you to turn back now lest you gaze upon the incomprehensible and suffer the consequences.

My advice from the first paragraph can be disregarded now because I’m not reviewing a musician anymore: I’m reviewing the murder of a genre.

In order to be good at prog metal, I feel that you need to take influences outside of prog metal as well. Afterbirth’s Cody Drasser stated that The Police of all bands was an influence—on a brutal death metal album, no less. Simulacra have clearly only ever heard Tool since the moment they popped out of the womb. All their life, they’ve been sheltered from any other kind of music that’s not Tool, and they’ve been conditioned to celebrate each release and tour like a national holiday (holidays only every thirteen years sound miserable, sorry Mr. Simulacra). That’s the only explanation I can give for this band’s existence. Never have I heard a band try to sound more like Tool without the songwriting ability of Tool.

Just like the last release, Simulacra have yet to figure out how to write a song. The eleven, fourteen, and TWENTY-FUCKING-FOUR MINUTE tracks that start this album off may as well be a slow lethal injection into my ears. There isn’t a single ounce of structure to any of these tracks,only Danny Carey tom beats and a guitar that stays stagnant, all while Maynard’s impersonator “sings” about the inner consciousness or something else he heard while on shrooms.

There isn’t an ounce of improvement since 2022’s Brave New World, and unlike my other Subway grievance Culak, it seems like he hasn’t learned anything other than how to do a better Maynard impression. There is nothing in this album that is noteworthy. Every now and then you feel like he’s about to do anything— riff, a vocal bridge, a chorus—only to have your hopes dashed when the song just keeps going. This is the musical equivalent of staring at paint dry.

‘Knowing the Path and Walking the Path’ is the biggest musical offense I’ve heard this year. Not only is that one of the worst song titles I’ve ever heard, but he really couldn’t know and walk the path in under twenty-four goddamn minutes? This is everything that Simulacra does wrong in a nutshell. Long songs without structure, meandering to sound like Tool without an ounce of release, and takes that sounded like they were recorded in ten seconds.

I would be less mean if it seemed that Simulacra actually did something here. However, he seems far more concerned with pumping out albums as fast as humanly possible rather than actually learning from the past. He got it under seventy minutes this time, probably the only plus I can say about this album, but all the other flaws are still there. Simulacra, please understand why it takes most bands a few years between albums. They write, they practice, and above all, they try to improve. They listen to music that’s not Tool and bring that influence into the writing room. You have done none of that: you’ve released more slop.

Recommended tracks: Knowing the Path and Walking the Path, just to experience Guantanamo Bay torture.
You may also like: DMT
Final verdict: 1.5/10

Related links: Bandcamp | Spotify | Twitter

Label: no

Simulacra is:
– THERE ARE STILL NO CREDITS